Something has Clicked

I've always had a hard time seeing myself as ill. It doesn't matter what happens to me, I am always able to convince myself that I'm really not 'that' sick. I've had a seizure, my teeth are quickly losing their enamel, my CBC always comes back out of whack- but somehow it is never enough to click in my head that I really do have a problem.
Logically, I know that I do. I know how out of control my bulimia gets. I know that throwing up 5 times a day is far from normal and I know that walking up a set of stairs shouldn't make you feel like you're about to faint. But it's just never enough.
I've always felt like, unless I visibly appear sick, I really don't have a problem. And for the past 2-3 years, I have looked fine on the outside.
But yesterday something clicked in my head and terrified me. I started picturing myself 30-40 years from now. If I keep this up- will I have teeth? Will my heart be okay? Will my bones be thin and brittle? This thought has absolutely terrified me. I may be okay at the moment, but how will I be when I get older? Am I going to have massive health consequences caused by all of the stuff I have done over the past 6 years? And is that really worth it?
Even though I am beyond terrified of getting older, I know that it is inevitable. And I want to be healthy and happy in those years. I don't want to do any more damage to my body now because I have to have this body forever.
I'm going to fight ten times harder. I made my meal plan for next week and plan to follow it 100% because I want to be feel good now and in the future. I have never felt as good as I did at MC and I've decided that I want that feeling back. I'm going to be healthy this week.